China lets slip the true purpose of the European Union

From Radio 4 satire many years ago:

John Major: Who won the bloody war anyway?
Helmut Kohl: Who said it’s over?

Well it is now!

The packaging from a carry case for the PS Vita

This is from a Chinese-made PS Vita carry case. Hint: check the flags and languages…

Hat tip to Daniel Gyenesse.

Europol warns about a new wave of illegal immigrants infiltrating Europe

Listen to the pundits and they will tell you that the world faces a terrifying cybergeddon in 2013: open nation-sponsored cyberwarfare; critical infrastructure meltdown caused by cyberterrorists; worldwide banking system brought to its knees by criminals and Anonymous; hacked drones attacking Capitol Hill courtesy of Iran; terrorists and paedophiles rampaging up and down the information highway; and murder, extortion and rape by the internet of things.

That’s why it was so reassuring to learn that the world I grew up in hasn’t quite gone forever. Australian and North American biker gangs are taking over the real world in Europe. “The arrival of Comancheros and Rebels from Australia, Rock Machine from Canada, plus Mongols and Vagos from the USA creates tension with established outlaw motorcycle clubs in Europe,” warns Europol.

Source: Europol

It’s good to know that the old traditions, the “propensity to use extreme forms of violence” with “the use of automatic rifles like Kalashnikovs, and explosive devices such as grenades” hasn’t disappeared completely. Who needs cyberwar when we’ve got Hells Angels patrolling the streets?

It does sort of put your feet back on the ground, doesn’t it?

Re-Tweet this post – it’s part of my plan to beat the recession

In order to beat the recession I need to expand. In order to expand I need a business loan. In order to get a business loan I need to improve my Klout.

No, really.

I went to the bank. No.

I went home, juggled some figures on the business plan to improve the bottom line projected profits and went back. No.

Apparently it has nothing to do with business potential, it has only to do with collateral. That is, I can have it if I can prove I don’t need it.

There must be another way. So I checked American Banker and found this in Thursday’s issue:

CAN is joining a growing list of companies chasing small business loans by using alternative data sourcing. These companies include Kabbage, which uses social media data as part of lending decisions… Lighter Capital also uses social networking data…
Big Data Comes to Small Business Online Lending

So I checked back into the earlier issues, and found this:

The company [Kabbage] is incorporating social media activity into its analysis now, Frohwein [founder and CEO] says. “We allow our customers to associate their Twitter and Facebook accounts. As our theory goes, the more active you are at keeping in touch, gaining followers, and responding to them, the more likely you’re running a solid, growing business and you’re worth an additional risk. Or there’s less risk associated with you so we can provide more cash or at a lower rate.”
The 10-Minute Small Business Loan

So that’s the plan; and that’s where you come in. Tweaking the bottom line of my business plan no longer works – but with your help I will be able to tweak the bottom line of my Klout score and get the low-interest business loan I so richly deserve. So please use the ‘share’ buttons below: tweet, like, repost, Reddit, whatever – or all – for this post. Do it for Christmas and the lulz, and I’ll still beat the system. You know I’m worth it.