The Inland Revenue owes me money. Hurrah!
Well! Are there no lengths they won’t go to nor depths they won’t plumb in their drive to cut costs and reduce the public sector? I’m talking about the ConDems of course!
But it’s not all bad. The Inland Revenue has finally agreed with me that I’ve been overpaying them for years. The sent me this email telling me that they needed to refund me with £1382.49. Nice!
And that’s how I found out: the Government is outsourcing the Inland Revenue. It’s actually a very good idea. Not only will they reduce costs and the size of the public sector, they are instantly improving efficiency. These new people will process my refund request in just 2-3 days!
After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity, we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of 1382.49 GBP. Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 2-3 days in order to process it.
How do I know about the outsourcing? Well, there’s this Geeky trick you can do. If you hover the cursor over a link without actually clicking it, the browser displays the actual address at the bottom of the screen. I used this trick and discovered that the Inland Revenue’s offices are now in Brazil!
Well, I’m just off for a cup of tea, and then I’ll be filling in my refund form.
While having that cup of tea, the nice Mr Cameron, a great fan of this blog, phoned me. He said, whoa! Hold on a minute. This has got to be a scam. In fact I know it’s a scam. We have no plans to do any such thing. There’s no way we’d ever give you any money back.
There it is. Sorry, but if you get an email from the Inland Revenue offering you a refund, bin it. It’s probably a prank perpetrated by the remnants of the last Labour government.