Dear Commonwealth. An open letter to our first true love…
I know the last letter a few years ago might have read a bit like a Dear John letter; but really, it was just a joke and for your own good. We never meant it seriously, and we certainly didn’t intend it to be final.
We felt that you all needed to be cut adrift – for a short time only – from Mother Britannia. It would force you to forge your own place in this great world of ours. And to make it seem more real, we pretended to get into bed with Europe.
And we were right, weren’t we? India, we have taught you to be the powerhouse of the world. Canada: you learnt how take tough decisions on your own, and force them through to a successful conclusion. Australia: you learnt how to ride a recession that humbled the rest of the world. And all the rest of you have done and are doing so well!
I want you to know there was never anything serious between us and Europe – well, perhaps a mild flirtation. It was purely physical; our minds were never in it.
And now that the time is right, the Commonwealth should re-unite. Move over, Commonwealth, we’re coming home. Please.
PS. I can tell you that Europe is no good as a lover. Always scheming, always backbiting, lying, self-centred, conceited. You have always been our first love. So please say you’ll have us back…