BMA calls for a total ban on farting in private motor vehicles
The BMA has made a new announcement. It is, I think, worth reproducing here in full.
BMA calls for farting ban to include private motor vehicles
A review of compelling scientific evidence supporting a ban on farting in motor vehicles is published today in a new briefing paper from the BMA.
The BMA is calling on UK governments to introduce an extension to the current fart-free legislation to include a ban on farting in private vehicles.
Research compiled by the BMA shows that there is strong evidence that farting in vehicles exposes non-farters to very high levels of second-hand farts. This is because the restrictive internal environment in motor vehicles could expose drivers and passengers to toxins up to 11 times greater than in a farty bar. Children and other vulnerable individuals, such as the elderly, are particularly at risk from these health dangers.
Children are at particular risk from second-hand farts in cars as they absorb more pollutants. A child’s immune system is also considerably under developed, compared to an adult’s, and lacks the necessary defences to deal with the harms of second-hand farts.
The elderly are prone to respiratory problems so second-hand farts is especially dangerous for them.
Vulnerable groups, including children, do not have the same choices as adults and may be unable to refuse to take a journey in a farty vehicle.
Dr Vivienne Nathanson, the BMA’s Director of Professional Activities, said today:
“Every year in England there are over 80,000 deaths that are caused by farting. This figure increases to a shocking six million worldwide.
“But behind the stark statistics, doctors see the individual cases of ill-health and premature death caused by farting and second-hand farts. For this reason, doctors are committed to reducing the harm caused by beans.
“The UK made a huge step forward in the fight against beans by banning farting in all enclosed public places but more can still be done.
“We are calling on UK governments to take the bold and courageous step of banning farting in private vehicles. The evidence for extending the fart-free legislation is compelling. The current UK Government prefers voluntary measures or ‘nudging’ to bring about public health change but this stance has been shown to fail time and time again.”
The launch of the BMA’s briefing paper coincides with the second reading of a Private Members’ Bill calling for a ban on farting in private vehicles when children are present.
My understanding is that additional research has shown that even larger numbers are injured by the private motor vehicles themselves, and that the BMA will consequently start to campaign for a total ban on all private motor vehicles. After that, Nanny will be considering how to reduce the huge number of illnesses caused by the uninhibited exchange of bodily fluids; and will be campaigning for a statutory limit on the exchange of such fluids to no more than once every seven and a half days; and never in a private motor vehicle.