GateGate – a scene from a Dennis Potter parallel universe
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
I think I’ve slipped into a Potteresque parallel universe inhabited by 1940s dressed children who look like adults. Anyone in the UK will know I’m talking about GateGate.
Let me explain to others. GateGate is the incident where the government’s chief whip was unkind to the policemen on duty at the gate. The chief whip is the title given to the honourable member charged with making sure other honourable members vote in accordance with the leading honourable member’s wishes. He is a career bully – that’s his job.
But then he was unkind – probably couldn’t help himself, it’s his nature – to the policemen. He called them a vile and disgusting name, cleverly stopping just short of anything illegal.
The policemen were appalled. Never before had they heard such dreadful language. But there wasn’t anything they could do about it, so they told their Union mother. Union mother did what all mothers do when their child is upset – she screamed long and loud (she’s still screaming, joined by the honourable leader of the honourable opposition) calling for the chief whip to be disemboweled (an ancient and honourable remedy for naughty children).
The word used – I can barely bring myself to repeat it, but must for the sake of honourable journalism – was… ‘plebs’. He actually said ‘fucking plebs’, but fucking is okay. If he’d used a second word more on a par with the first, he would have been okay. Apparently, ‘fucking arseholes’ would have been acceptable. But he didn’t say that; he said ‘plebs’.
And for that, in this Potteresque parallel universe in which all now seem to live, he is to be disemboweled.
The chief whip has now cheated the audience. He fell on his own sword and disemboweled himself.