Home > All > Townsend says he will struggle on despite this latest setback

Townsend says he will struggle on despite this latest setback

February 28, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

There is nothing yet on the AShimmy Blog – organizer of the Security Blogger Awards. But Tripwire, a Platinum Sponsor of the awards, knows the results. “We are pleased to announce that Tripwire’s The State of Security has been selected as the ‘most entertaining security blog’ at the annual Security Bloggers Network Awards for 2014,” it announced yesterday.

This will come as a mortal blow to Kevin Townsend, who learnt a few weeks ago that he had been nominated for the same award despite not being a member of the Security Bloggers Network. But, tragically, it seems to be true. Kevin Townsend’s security blog, euphemistically known as Kevin Townsend’s Security Blog, lost out to Tripwire in the annual ‘most entertaining security blog’ award.

Townsend could not be found at his offices, known as the ‘cupboard under the stairs’; but was eventually located heavily sedated and under 24-hour suicide watch at the local home for the desolate.

Questioned over this latest failure, he was magnanimous in defeat. “We lost,” he said, “to the more entertaining blog. Me and my three-legged cat and $40k company lost to a $100 million company with 400 employees. Tripwire sponsors the awards so deserves its success. I wish them well.”

We asked if he would carry on despite this latest setback, but had to explain that his reply is neither biologically nor physiologically possible. He took one of the grapes we had brought him, but he spat it out, hissing, “sour!” — and he seemed to drift back into a delirium-soaked half-life, mumbling about tents and the direction of the wind.

Sadly, we have to report that Townsend’s blog is likely to hang around. Once they let him out of the home, that is.

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